Wednesday, February 11, 2009

How Men Should Pee

There I was, just minding my own business, looking at the comments posted by loyal readers regarding my last post about fighting in hockey, when kaboom, out of nowhere (actually from SpecRiter located in Canada), comes this bombshell: "Saying that fighting in hockey should be banned is like women saying that men should sit down and pee instead of standing... it is just against our nature."
 
Wow! I never really thought about whether it's against the nature of man to pee sitting down, let alone what peeing has to do with hockey. 

Reflecting on men's peeing, I guess I must have always figured you'd stand when it was convenient (usually when number one only was involved) and sit when it was appropriate (when number two was involved). These are not rigid rules. They can be waived, for example, when alone in the woods. Then it is perfectly fine to throw caution to the wind and take whatever stance (or not) you feel like at that moment.
 
Being naturally inquisitive about such important issues, I immediately googled the search words "men pee when sitting". In short order (0.23 Seconds), I was presented with 442,000 results. I never knew so many people were concerned about this topic. Also, all those people and computers at Google must have been sitting around and just waiting for my inquiry judging by how rapidly they delivered so many references on the subject.
 
The number one search result informed me that 40% of Japanese men pee while sitting. This percentage of men sitting is three times as large as the percentage who did so when the survey was taken in 1999. The increase is apparently due to pressure from wives on their spouses to cut down on the urine splashing. It's also interesting to note that the Japanese actually do surveys on stuff like this.
 
Second on the list was a link to a short video from Larry David on the subject. You can view his remarks by clicking here (the video takes less than a minute). I recommend it heartily.
 
As with most activities on the web, you can invest (waste) untold hours researching this topic. For example, I ran across a photo from travel writer Rick Steves that tells us that you won't find a single urinal in Iran. He says it's a "religious thing".
 
All in all, I learned a whole lot while having tons of fun. And I still think that fighting should be banned in hockey (whether or not peeing has anything to do with hockey).
 

6 comments:

Blyth said...

While flushing the toilette yesterday morning, I noticed a giant cockroach lurking in the crevice between the seat and the tank. I shudder thinking about those antennae so close to my tushie! You should feel very lucky to have the option to stand while peeing.

Mama.M said...

That Larry David skit was very funny. I find that thoughts come to me in the bathroom. Not necessarily on the bowl but while standing at the sink. I have no concrete answer as to why this is so, but I am greatful for anything that keeps my mind clicking.

Neverwrong said...

I didn’t see your take…should we stand or sit?

Incontrovertible said...

Neverwrong, if you're responsible for keeping the bathroom clean or live in Iran, the right answer is men must sit to eliminate the splashing.

However, since most men don't clean up after themselves, as I said in the second paragraph, stand for number one, sit for number two, and do whatever you like in the woods.

briano52 said...

So I learned something here. Apparently there are cultural aspects to this issue. My Persian girlfriend suggested that I pee sitting down. I had no idea why other than she is very fastidious about keeping the house clean.
I haven't changed my ways as I have always felt a certain sense of freedom while standing. Never mind an occasional over splash. That is just a sign of good back pressure which is a welcome thing for men over 50.

SpecRider on the Storm said...

Thank you for the laugh - my wife is still trying to figure out what peeing has to with hockey. My point was that even though this seemed a natural thing to do - breaking the etiquette has its consequences. Sit and be happy that you are still in the game.

Thank you for your follow up research... still laughing like a giddy kid.